6 months today...

Yesterday marked 6 long and painful months since I was shown a ultrasound monitor with my little girls perfect little form, but a still heart. She was so beautiful even in the ultrasound monitors, I could see her full lips, perfect little face and gorgeous little fingers. She was ideal, perfect in every way but she was gone

6 months ago today they induced my labour in an effort to deliver her naturally but in the end I elected for a c-section. I tried for over 12 hrs but she was asleep and I wanted so desperately to meet her.

Its impossible to describe how silent the operating theatre was at the time of her birth. As they got ready to lift her out everyone fell silent, I swear it felt like even the machines stopped. Everyone held their breath as she came into the world, hoping...praying she would cry. We all knew she wouldn’t but we hoped.

6 months ago I birthed my perfect angel who was already in heaven. I miss her so much every day. My heart overflows often with pain and tears that can’t be held back.

A little piece of me left with her that day, I do my best to rebuild and move forward with our lives

I really can’t help but wonder what if she hadn’t gotten her wings though…..